Beachwood Buzz Magazine - May 2016 Page 42

42 Beachwood Buzz May 2016

Death is a part of life. Grief is the

natural response to death.

A Q&A with Jennifer Stern, LISW

When I work with a new client who had expe-

rienced a loss, how does the dialogue begin?

The dialogue begins by hearing the client's story

and letting him speak of his experience. When some-
one has just experienced a loss, it is important for him
to understand that all feelings are okay. It takes great
strength and courage to do the work of grief. Grief
work is challenging; there is no formula or timeline
that works the same way for everyone. Each person
will approach, manage and express grief differently.
Some days will be harder than others.

Although it may seem impossible to adjust to

the loss, no one stays in deep grief forever. The
pain comes from wishing things were different,
that life didn't have to change, but he will tran-
scend the grief in time. It will not define him.
One day at a time. One step at a time. Self-care is
important when adjusting to loss.

Although there isn't a one-size-fits-all time-

line during grief, are there are steps that can be
taken to move the grieving process along?

Create a self-care toolbox to help you through

the pain, and here is what the tools might look like:

· Tools for expression like a journal, sketchpad,

watercolors, scrapbook materials, or clay.

· A list of self-care strategies that you can imple-

ment, such as: exercise, listening to music, talking
to friends and family you know to be supportive

listeners, meditation, guided

imagery CD's, a collection of

favorite movies, etc.

· A folder with favorite

memories, photographs,

inspirational quotes or

prayers

· Contact information

for local resources such as

Hospice, The Gathering

Place, or a grief therapist.

What can be done

for someone who
feels overwhelmed
with just getting

through the day?

Suggest that she

asks for help.

Remember, asking for and receiving help takes
great self-awareness, self-care and courage. It is
completely understandable to find oneself over-
whelmed with the notion of just making it through
the day. What could be harder? Enlist the help of
close friends, family members, a support group, a
therapist or clergy.

If someone you know is grieving, what are the

best ways to help?

When you want to support someone who has

lost a loved one, recognize that you cannot "fix"
or take away her pain. You can be with her. Be
mindful that grief work is messy and unpredict-
able. To share in someone's grief, understand
that there are no right words. There is no recipe,
no one-size-fits-all right or wrong way to grieve.
You can help by being present, patient, and in
tune to how she expresses her feelings (quiet and
reserved, tearful, angry, impatient, etc.).

Physically, what can one do for someone who

is grieving?

When someone is grieving, actions speak louder

than words. Take action, don't just offer. When you
offer, there's a likelihood that you will be turned
down. Let her know that you're stopping by to
mow the lawn or shovel. Plant some flowers. Drop
off meals. Send cards. Help with rides. Help with
laundry. Walk the dog, and the list goes on.

What else should we know about grieving?
Grief is messy. Grief is unpredictable. Grieving

is hard work. Try to stay mindful, there is no time
line or "normal" in grief. Supporting another in
grief means to respectfully follow the lead of the
person who is grieving. Try to be patient, flexible,
and open. There is no quick fix or getting over grief.
Grief is something you grow through.

Jennifer Stern, LISW, is a Loss and Bereavement

Specialist at Ellen F. Casper, PH.D and Associates
in Beachwood. For more information, she can be
reached at 216.464.4243.

PTO

Clipboard

e Bison Feast and Fest

Let's get cooking, Sunday,

May 22 in the Beachwood
High School gym from 2 to
5 pm to celebrate FOOD,
COMMUNITY and CULTURE
in Beachwood Schools! The
BISON FEAST + FEST (BFF)
is a district wide, commu-
nity building event for
Beachwood students, staff,
teachers and families. The
aim of this school festival is
simply to come together in
friendship to celebrate and
showcase the incredible
cultural diversity within our
school community through
food.

Beachwood Elementary

Parents 

School Supply Kits:

With summer around

the corner, it seems hard to
imagine shopping for next
year's school supplies right
now. However, Beachwood
PTO has made back-to-
school shopping convenient
and easier.

You will soon be receiving

more information about how
to pre-order all of next year's
school supplies pre-pack-
aged, personalized and ready
to go. Each school- supply
kit will include the exact
school supplies requested
by your child's teacher. 1st
Day School Supplies only
uses trusted brand names at
reasonable prices. All kits will
be delivered to your child's
school on August 1 and
will be available for pick up
during Hilltop/Bryden drop-
in days.

Watch for more information

in next month's Beachwood
Buzz.